They say truth is stranger than fiction. Well...this fiction is pretty strange. Here are some of the highlights of the sensational cross-country trip that never happened.
THE ADVENTURE BEGINS
Fake Dave announces that his life has been set to “repeat” and he needs to change it to “shuffle,” and various other statements that seem vaguely profound but are really quite foolish. He becomes a “citizen of the road, with no destination other than the many possibilities that lie just beyond the bend.”
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FIRST STOP, AMISH COUNTRY
On foot, Fake Dave makes it all the way to Amish Country to settle an old score…in the most juvenile way possible. His unfortunate decision to toilet paper a buggy leads to potential charges under hate crime legislation. This development expands the Fakebook audience, making him unusually popular for a hate criminal.
SO YEAH...NOW HE HAS AN AMISH GIRLFRIEND
Incapable of fulfilling even the simplest responsibilities, our hero skips out of Amish country early. To his surprise, the beautiful farmer's daughter Kate follows him. Uneasy about the addition to his trip, he reluctantly gives in to her charms. Now he has a travel companion. Now he has a travel companion.
TIP FROM THE ROAD: DON'T FLASH EXPENSIVE ELECTRONICS AROUND WHEN CRASHING A HOMELESS SHELTER THANKSGIVING
Yeah, homeboy got mugged.
SOMEONE FINDS OUT
Back in the real world, someone figured it out. Rather than simply call Dave out on his lie, they annonomously taunt Cicirelli with cryptic text messages and real-world artifacts of Fake Dave's virtual journey.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, WALKING IS STUPID
Bruised and beaten, Fake Dave and Amish Kate have had it with the east coast, and their feet weren't going to get them their fast enough. They decide to freight hop to sunny Arizona.
Living in the desert in a tent...moments like this make fake life seem pretty appealing in that heavily photoshopped sort of way.
Bow tie tattoo...who knew? This actually turned out better than I expected.
FAKE DAVE GOES NUTS
I got bitten by a rabid coyote. It got wierd.
SOUTH OF THE BORDER
After a daring escape from a cult, this clown finds himself stranded in Mexico without a passport. Soon he’s crossing the border illegally. ## Reconciliation
RUN INS WITH THE MINUTE MEN
After being arrested, Fake Dave was charged under suspcicion of being a drug mule. After a short, but dramatic trial, he was freed of all charges.Ralph stepped up and supported his son, where they had a long drive home to New Jersey to heal the father son relationship...just as Dave found out he may soon be a father himself.
END OF THE ROAD
But he decides he’s tired of running. He signs off of Facebook and moves to the Amish community that hates him to be with the woman he maybe/sort of loves to raise what is possibly his child. The end.